Many months back, God was pleased to send me through a season of intense intellectual and spiritual doubts. But, by His grace, he sent many helpful people and resources my way so that it no longer poses the same amount of threat to my faith as it did when I was in the midst of it.
But all to say, perhaps because I went through it, I am now so much more sensitive to the temptations to doubt than before and thus, am able to catch the Enemy “in the act.” For instance, here was a conversation that played out in my mind today:
Holy Spirit: “This particular area of your life isn’t in line with the truth of the Gospel. You know that that particular sin isn’t glorifying to God or for your joy.”
Me: “I know. Forgive me. I know that this particular command you have given me in Your Word is for Your glory and my joy. Empower me now, by Your Spirit, to trust You at Your word and obey You.”
The Enemy: “How are you so sure that this is God’s Word?”
At which point, I proceeded to extinguish the firey darts of the Enemy with the many arguments I learned from manydifferentplaces.
But, more than anything, I was taken aback by this seeming link between my sinful desire and intellectual doubts. That is, why is it that right when I agree with the Spirit that a particular sin is sin, right alongside it, there’s this temptation to doubt the veracity of Christianity? Hmm.
Thoughts:
1. I’m reminded of this verse: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” – Jeremiah 17:9
2. And this verse: “The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the LORD God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” – Genesis 3:1. I knew that other voice to doubt God’s Word sounded familiar…….
God, save me from my own heart and from the Enemy.
14 And he called the people to him again and said to them, “Hear me, all of you, and understand: 15 There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but things that come out of a person are what defile him.”
17 And when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. 18 And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, 19 since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled? (Thus he declared all foods clean.)
20 And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. 21 For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person. – Mark 7:14-23
Richard Mellick, in his commentary on Colossians writes: “The cause of our sinfulness is not our evil deeds; [rather] our evil deeds come from our sinfulness.”
Observations:
1. It’s so easy to fall back into the mindset that “I am sinful because I do bad things” when, in actuality, it should be “I do bad things because I am sinful.”
2. The former mindset, namely, the “I am sinful because I do bad things” causes me to repent only at the surface-level. That is, because I think that the main problem is my sinful behavior (and not my heart), my response is merely to modify my behavior and manage my behavioral sins.
3. The latter mindset, however, namely that “I do bad things because I am sinful” forces me to repent at a deeper level. That is, when I “do bad things,” I recognize that the issue is with my heart, and therefore, I stand firm in my standing with Christ and not “shift from the hope of the gospel that I heard” (Col. 1:23). Then, I proceed to, “by the Spirit, put to death the deeds of the body.”
4. On an unrelated note, this is yet another reason to have confidence in the Word of God. That is, this teaching by Jesus is so absolutely counter-intuitive.
I’ve been looking over this small group curriculum called “Abide: Practicing Kingdom Rhythms In a Consumer Culture” by Jared C. Wilson for a while now. I’m currently praying over and thinking about whether or not this is the next curriculum that we’re going to use in our small groups. So far, it seems likely. Check out the video below for more info:
Click here to see a set of interesting photos of a few prisoners’ last meal before being executed – and a friend’s powerful theological reflection on them.
